Memory
by lylangelgurl
Summary: {Song Fic} Draco and Hermione are in love, but Draco knows it will never work. He decides to end it by breaking Hermione's heart.


Disclaimer : I don't own anything from the Harry Potter series or the song "Memory" by Sugarcult.   
  
This is a songfic about Memory from Sugarcult. I hope you guys like it. I'm sorry for any spelling errors, there's something wrong with my spellcheck.

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**_This may never start  
We could fall apart  
And I'd be your memory  
_**  
It all started that day on the train. We were on the train to Hogwarts, about to start our final year. I remember the fire in her honey eyes as she yelled at me. I even remmeber the way her golden brown ringlets bounced everytime she moved her head. Most of all, I remember how shocked she was when I silenced her with my lips.  
  
**_Lost your sense of fear  
Feelings insincere_**  
  
That day, I didn't know what brought me to do a thing like that. I know I wanted to shut her up, but I could have done anything. Why did I kiss her? That's not something I would do, go around kissing mudbloods, much less the mudblood who was Harry Potter's best friend. My father would kill me, literally. At the time, I probably thought it was lust. after all, she had grown up, but now, six months later, I finally realize. It was much more than lust.   
  
_**Can I be your memory?**_  
  
I'll never forget those six months after the train incident. We got closer. We would spend almost all of our free time together. We would kiss, make love and just talk. We even talked about the future. Our future. I never talked, or even thought, about the future with I girl I had a relasionship with. But here I was, talking about children and white picket fences with Hermione Granger. We didn't even insult each other in public anymore. I know now that I was falling for her. Too bad it had to end.

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**_So get back, back, back to where we lasted  
Just like I imagined  
I could never feel this way_**  
  
My world fell the day Draco told me it wouldn't work. My mind knew he was right. After all, he was getting the dark mark soon. It would never work. Those children I dreamed of and our home together would never happen. But my heart never stopped hoping. I'll never forget the more peaceful days of our relasionship. Where we would spend our time together. I've never felt this way before, I was in love.  
  
**_So get back, back, back to the disaster  
My heart's beating faster  
Holding on to feel the same_**  
  
He basically told me to go back to the insults, the hatred we originally felt towards each other. I knew if anyone found out he had be having realations with me, a mudblood, he'd be hurt, maybe even killed. I agreed, but I knew I wouldn't be able to do it. How could I feign hatred and malice towards the man I love? My heart races everytime I see him. I can't control my feeling for him. Every night, I desperately rake my mind, trying to remember his touch, his soft but passionette kisses, knowing if I don't remember it now, I'll never remember it again, beacause we'll never share those moments ever again.

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**_This may never start  
I'll tear us apart  
Can I be your enemy?_**  
  
I knew she still loved me despite all those insults I constanly threw at her. I would even insult her in private, even when no one else was therre. I would wait for her to insult me back, to fufill her promise, but she would never do it. She would just get a sad look in her eyes and ingnore me or walk away. That killed me. I felt horribble every time I caused her pain, but I knew I had to end it. She had to stop loving me. I had to break her heart completely.

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**_Losing half a year  
Waiting for you here  
I'd be your anything_**  
  
Tears fell down my eyes but I made to move to stem the flow. "He dosen't love you," I told myself. He said it himself. I had been foolish enough to actually think he cared about me, that his constant insults were just an a facade. He got his mark tonight and I was stupid enough to wait for him in our head boy and girl common room. I cried so much that night. He shattered all of my heart. I wasted half a year with him. I would have been his anything, his everything. If only he loved me, I would have kept on loving him.

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**_This may never start  
Tearing out my heart  
And I'd be your memory  
Lost your sense of fear_**  
  
I broke her heart and my own that night. After I came back from my initiation, I saw her in our common room. I ridiculed her, I insulted her. It pained me but I knew I had to do it. I don't want to see her getting killed by deatheaters. That's my biggest fear. I knew it would happen if they ever found out how muched I loved her. They would kill her as well as me. I lied and told her I never loved her. I told her the whole realasionship was a sham, that I just wanted a good shag. I felt like breaking down myself when I saw her cry. The, I remembered, deatheaters don't cry.

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**_Feelings disappear_**  
  
It took me a while to heal from the whole thing, but I did it. After all, it was all just a lie, I was stupid to ever think he loved me. Why would he, Draco Malfoy, love me, Hermione Granger? We were and are complete opposites. He's a pureblood, I'm a muggleborn. He's a Slytherin and I'm a Gryfindorr. Most of all, I'm an auror now, and he's a deatheater. Love would be something we would never share with each other. He hated me then, and he hates me now.

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**_Can I be your memory?_**  
  
I know she won't forget me, and I'll never forget her. She's my memory, as much as I'm her memory. I only wish I could have been the man she married and loved, instead of the one that broke her heart and hates.

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End. 


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